Friday, July 27, 2012

july

has come, and is going, so fast.
golly, where is the time?
i feel like i have run out of days for all of the things that i had intended to do.
now, i'm trying to fit things into my schedule and everything feels hectic.

sometimes i catch myself wondering whether or not i'm doing the right thing.
i'm one of those people that can, unfortunately, think up every possible
scenario of things going wrong.
and then i think about those of my friends that are staying here, or close to home.
and i get a bit jealous.

but my best friend is a constant reminder that, besides my family and a few close
friends, i no longer have a future here.
it kind of makes me feel as though this life of mine is kicking me out. rejecting me.
but that's just silly talk.
because there are these wonderful, magical moments that i sometimes have, where
i fathom all that i am on the brink of experiencing.
and for just that moment, i can vividly imagine the lives, the places, the moments, and the days
that are about to accept me as their own, and take me in, and let me claim as my own.
moments like these where i can fathom something that always seems unfathomable
are the moments that make all of my fear and anxiety seem petty.
it's amazing to me that there are things and people out there that i can't even
name, but one day will be able to call mine.

i cannot wait to look back on these past months and giggle to myself about
all of the things that seemed so daunting and impossible.
i cannot wait to look back and tell myself that i did it. i managed to grow up a bit. i had the strength to leave.
because as intimidating and overwhelming as these next few weeks and months appear,
at the end of the day i am only doing what i set out to do.
and that is something to thank god about.

xoxo

{home is where the heart is, i suppose. & where anthropologie is, as well...}

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