Tuesday, September 18, 2012

i think i'm finally getting it.

i finally feel as though i am grasping this whole college thing.
and guess what?
i really, really do.
i can finally see that i am coming to the place in my life that
i never assumed i'd get to, but deep down hoped and prayed for.

this past week, especially, has been a time where i have started to really
just let go of everything that's been stored inside of me for the past year.
and letting go feels so wonderful.
i used to wonder what september, and october, and november, and december 
would look like, and now that i am in the midst of them, i cannot believe
how far i have come.
honestly, i knew that healing was possible and everyone kept telling me that
it would come someday, but most of the time i couldn't comprehend what someday
even meant.
i grew tired of feeling like today wasn't the day to feel normal again.
i wanted madison back, even more than i had wanted my past back.
but being here at school has prioritized so much of my life.
and it has most importantly prioritized who i am inside.

i know what i want, and i'm proud of it.
and feeling as though no one can stop me anymore
is so freeing.
i mean this in the most humble way, due to the fact that i have gotten to where
i am now because god had to humble me, 
but, i now realize that i was one of the lucky ones. 
i saw the error, as my dad has reminded me over and over,
and i ran.
i looked back so many times, and yet i never slowed my pace.

now, my pace has brought me here.
and here is so amazing.
sure, i'm still adjusting to this new chapter in life,
but i am finally realizing that god's plan was so much safer, and healthier, and greater
than the plan i had thought was in store for me.

school is hard. and right now i have so much work to be doing.
i've honestly never worked so hard in school as i have this past week.
but i am loving every assignment and how i feel they challenge me.
only more is to come.
soooo excited :)



  1. Hi hi hi! Oh my gosh your blog is so cute! Yay for blogging buddies!

  2. I love this so much. You are great and this is great.