as it will be almost every day for the next...how many months?
i love the gloomy weather so much.
but while i live in it, i catch myself going back. only for small
instances. i've learned not to dwell in the memory of the past.
it only takes a moment. while everyone around the lunch table is
making conversation, my mind will wander off. and i can suddenly feel
fifteen again...sixteen...and seventeen, too. i remember everything;
and then, just like that, i'm back. and i remember where i am, and how much
god has blessed me with placing my life here. and then i know that everything is okay,
and that going home in a month isn't so daunting after all.
i have lots of homework this next coming week so i am currently
writing from the library.
why is it that i feel most at home when i'm buried behind piles of books?
so it's just me, maybe you, lots of gloom outside the window i am facing,
and a bit of bon iver playing in the background.
because bon iver brings everything back. everything.
i let them play for bits at a time. never longer than i can handle.
just enough for emma. because all of my memories are from forever ago.