Tuesday, December 4, 2012

becoming honest.

i haven't had a whole lot of time to be on here {sorry},
and, honestly, as i get more and more readers, it becomes a bit 
more difficult for me to feel so honest on here.
not that i'm going to lie or anything like that!
but i mean being honest about how i feel and how my days are.

i think that so many people feel that popular bloggers portray a seemingly perfect life.
but i can totally see how they only post so much good, not only to maintain a positive 
blogging atmosphere, but because they don't want all of their personal business displayed
on the internet 

so, here i am. nowhere near those types of bloggers and yet learning that some sort
of guard must exist on here.
i'm a writer. as i always say.
and i am so protective over my work,
just as i am protective over this blog.
and if i am going to be perfectly honest right now,
i'd like to say that i have been struggling with writing lately.
not just here on the blog, but on my personal writings as well.

i wouldn't call it writer's block,
but instead it's like a block within me and my creativity.
when i write often and keep my imagination going about ideas
it's one of the best feelings in the world.
i actually used to get into trouble in class for reading and writing.
but if i had an idea and i didn't get to a pen and paper fast enough then
i would completely lose focus because all i wanted to do was get that idea out
and onto paper where, in my eyes, it is safe.

i don't know. i pretty much have word vomit today
{great imagery, right?}
it's just that today has been rough for a few reasons and i feel like i'm trying to hold 
it all together but with no one to really talk to, not even a blank sheet of paper.

however, i am doing better with my words on here than i am verbally.
i suppose i just feel as though i have so much to be thankful for, especially recently,
that having such a bad day seems silly and petty.
nevertheless, i am human and bad days happen, and not being able to express that is a 
bit frustrating.

i think all i need is a kind ear, some wise words, a cup of tea, and some bible reading time.
they've all solved things before, you know.

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