Sunday, January 13, 2013

close BUT no cigar!

so i'm sitting in the airport, wishing that i had a way out of going back to oregon...anddddd, over the intercom they announce that my flight is overbooked and anyone willing to give up their ticket would get a $300 {literally the exact amount i need for my round trip next time} voucher plus a free one way ticket back to portland.
uhmmm...hello, sign me up! so the man sitting next to me went and asked about everything and the next flight to portland doesn't arrive until 10:55 tonight.

my heart sunk. even more than it already has today.
HOW DID BREAK GO SO FAST?!
i didn't even accomplish half of the things i wanted to do!
well, i suppose this means summer should just hurry its pretty self up.
really, i'm already pulling the "summer hurry up" line.

honestly, guys, i have no desire to be back in oregon.
i'm dying to start classes again {i'm weird like that}
but i do not want to live in oregon anymore.
it's hard. yeah, i know that life is hard, and that this particular
"difficulty" is nothing compared to other things.
i'm blessed, i know.
but some aspects of break were draining and looooong 
and i am doing my best to leave that all in the past,
but my heart is here in california with my family.
the distance thing kills me,
and i'm praying it gets better with time
but time just seems to go by so slow up there.
one month here goes so fast, while a single day there often feels like an eternity.

there's so many other aspects to this that are personal, but
to give you the gist of things, i'm just plain homesick most of the time.
i'm figuring stuff out,
and i feel like giving up, moving back to cali, and starting over small.
so today, mom and dad told me to give up. they said, "give up. throw it all away. do something else. move back home."
not exactly what i wanted to hear, but they're right.
so i either give it up or suck it up.
i don't like my new address but there's so many wonderful things
that this new address of mine has brought to my life.
i know that this time is temporary and i just have to keep telling myself that
i'm growing up and times are a changin'.
we'll see how this all goes these next few weeks.
i've decided to take today minute by minute,
and everything else day by day.

xoxo



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