Wednesday, February 27, 2013

jimmy choo's v. god's secrets.

is it just me or does this whole college application thing make me feel as if i were
in fall 2011 allllllll over again?!?!
yep. it's just me.

i'm learning more and more about the concept of money.
when i was little, i used to think that all mom and dad had to do to buy me something
was swipe a piece of plastic or sign their name and an amount on a little piece of paper.
then i got a little bit older and $100 at christmas time meant that i was set for the year!
and then! i got a job in high school and "saving" money was nice, but let's be honest,
new clothes weren't going to pay for themselves... ;)
well, anyways, i made sure so save my money up for a year away at college and for some reason
these past few weeks have required...uhmm...a ton of money!
and i haven't purchased a new pair of shoes for a few months now!
but seriously, yesterday i was in over my head over financial aid stuff.
i could have cried.
i'm realizing that money comes and goes like *poof*
and the value of a dollar is waaaaaay more than i ever thought.
it's really stressful when you're in the thick of realizing it.
all of the financial stuff put me in a bit of a bad mood yesterday,
but then, before bed, i read a passage in my jesus calling book
and god revived my perspective.
i totally urge you to buy this book. my mom bought this for me
and i read it every night before bed and it has totally began to change my outlook on everyday things.

here's yesterday's passage:

I am leading you, step by step, through your life. Hold My hand in trusting dependence, letting Me guide you through this day. Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy - even precarious. That is how it should be. Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret things. When you try to figure out the future, you are grasping at things that are Mine. This, like all forms of worry, is an act of rebellion: doubting My promises to care for you.
Whenever you find yourself worrying about the future, repent and return to Me. I will show you the next step forward, and the one after that, and the one after that. Relax and enjoy the journey in My Presence, trusting Me to open up the way before you as you go.

Deuteronomy 29:29; Psalm 32:8

uhmm....future things are secret things????
this is what caught me way off guard.
and then...
*light bulb!*
i got it. 
and i loved it.

i've said it a million times: i am a control freak of my own life.
it's weird because i have no care in the world to control things concerned with anybody else or their lives.
when it comes to myself i drive madison crazy. i do. i do. i do.

so, since it's wednesday and this week is going sooo well,
i'm going to try to remember to allow god's secrets to be his secrets.
i mean, if a boyfriend was going to surprise me with a pair of my first jimmy choo's or chanel perfume, though i would LOVE to snoop around and see what his gift was,
i know he would truly want everything to be a surprise. and lack of snooping would be highly appreciated.
so, i'm gonna let god have this one.
i, as of right now, have not the slightest idea as to where i will live or attend university next year,
and as scary as this is,
i am still
S O  E X C I T E D.


p.s. the choo's would still be much appreciated. or, if i'm going for the whole carrie bradshaw thing,
manolo blahnik's would be necessary, and the way to my heart forever and ever.
and besides, if i'm really moving back to california, i'm going to need a cute pair of shoes to match...

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