when you made promises i hoped you would keep.
when you held my hand and said that we'd be okay.
when you laughed and said that i'd never leave.
when you sang a song to me, and played the guitar.
when you cried because i described how beautiful our future would be.
when you took my face in your hands and told me that
you loved me, only to admit moments later that you hated me, too.
when you scared me so bad that i had to run away for a long, long time.
when i told you i'd be back in a while, and to be good.
i remember making promises that would turn out to be un-keepable.
i remember how cold everything was and how torn i felt between feeling
old and young.
and then i remember when i began to forget things here and there.
and the memory of you went away for a long while.
but then you come into my dreams, just like that.
and i feel the pangs of broken promises again.
and i feel disbelief that this is reality.
and i feel like it all can't possibly be so recent.
and i feel old, but everything around me is young.
and i hope that i don't dream anymore
because your promises were warm,
and your hands were safe,
and your laugh was endearing,
and your songs were sweet.
and your tears were for good,
and you didn't really hate me,
and you scared yourself more than you scared me,
and i really meant that i'd be back in a while,
but you had no intentions of being good.
and so i remember,
but i doubt that you still do.
so i try to forget,
and write it all away.