Friday, June 14, 2013

tomorrow means romania.

"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore."

-Andre Gide

this quote is engraved onto the journal that my uncle and his girl friend, courtney, gave me. i love it because it completely applies to how i feel right now. romania is a huge, new ocean for me and this trip is taking all of the courage that i have. 

i could pray for a multitude of things right now but i don't quite have the words, nor do i have much emotion. i think i'll remain numb until i hear the name "romania" come over the airplane intercom. 

in three short weeks i will be making my way back home, so it's crucial for me to throw myself into everything that awaits me. i think it's safe to say that my first overseas endeavor is bound to be a memorable one.

and i'm seeing that complete physical and mental obedience to god is a humbling thing.
i don't know what to expect or how to feel or anything. 

all i know is that my life of adventures begins's crazy scary and overwhelming, but i'm not one to just sit around comfortable, watching the world spin by.

be back soon.



Thursday, June 13, 2013

thursday before romania:

Romania/Moldova Team Covenant:

We covenant to be a team of respect; to respect and accept each other’s strengths and imperfections. 
We covenant to be a team who shares; who shares our stories, struggles, concerns, joys, hopes and fears. 
We will struggle to be safely vulnerable with each other; and hold all things in confidence and respect. 
We covenant to be a team of prayer; to prepare and equip ourselves together with prayer every day, to pray for each other and walk together through hard and times and blessings. We covenant to walk in joy, and abide in laughter with each other. 
We covenant to encourage and challenge one another along this journey to be the best we can be. 
We covenant to be a team of love; to be people who choose to love ourselves, love those we serve, love each other deeply, and love God wholeheartedly. 
We covenant to be a team of service; to be fully committed to our mission to serve to the best of our ability, to let God’s love pour out of our lives onto others.

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.”
-Philippians 2:1-2

tomorrow i head out for good ol' portland,
and earlyyyy saturday morning i take off for washington d.c.,
then germany,
and finally, on monday, i make my arrival into bucharest!

my nerves are crazy!
i don't think it's hit me yet that i will be in europe,
but it better soon enough because it's happening!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

some pictures of the littles in my life

^^^ she loved her new sprinkler!
 ^^^thursday, when i couldn't bring myself to do anything.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

in some way they all tell a small tale about me from last year to now. how lovely.

tuesday before romania,

let's just say i haven't felt this nervous/excited since i moved away to college.
to know that this time next week i will be in a foreign country blows my mind.
it's scary and exciting and overwhelming.

i can slowly feel myself losing control of my near-future-situation.
i'm a control freak over my entire life...
i love lists and planning and routine.
romania isn't going to consist of much of that,
and i NEED to learn to be content with this kind of reality because
life is so unpredictable.

my suitcase is nearly packed and it's all so minimal.
my flights are almost all in order,
and i think i have a reasonable adaptor.

let's just do this thing already because the suspense is killing me!

Monday, June 10, 2013

two small things:

1. I wrote this just because:

My writings are many,
            My paintings are few.
And yet I continue to create them,
            In the hopes of pleasing you.

2. happy birthday, daddy. i love you more than words
     can ever say. you're one of my best friends and i downright adore you.
     thank you for all that you do. i strive to make you the proudest, always.


Monday before Romania.

I'm beginning to think that perhaps I'm expecting more from Romania
than I initially thought.

Saturday, June 8, 2013


i've been throwing up lots of words onto paper lately,
i think much of it has to do with change and
with my nerves for the coming change.
none of it is negative, but it's all somewhat frightening, nonetheless.

anyways, i wrote this tonight because i couldn't slow my thoughts
or clear my head. it's rough and i don't really know if i like it
but i don't have a pen and paper so i'll just record it here.

{six days 'til romania, my oh my i can't believe it.}


I am the wandering girl,
You are the winding road, which I walk on.

You are the bottle filled with spirits,
I am the shattered glass from the fight.

I am the flower that slowly grows through the seasons,
You are the ignorant person who comes along and breaks my stem.

You are the voice that booms within my ears,
I am the sound of whispers.

I am the prime of youth,
You are the thief of the age of innocence.

You are the dreamer of stars and far away places,
I am the adventurer who counts them and seeks them.

I am the future I have always dreamt of,
You are the forever past –
And irrelevant.

I am the weakening legs of uncertainty,
You are the thick and compressed concrete
That directs and supports my aching, sprinting feet.

You are the one to always stay,
I am the forever runaway.

{via my pinterest}

Thursday, June 6, 2013

11:15 pm.

all day today i felt this emotion:

"I am in the mood to dissolve in the sky." Virginia Woolf.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

for all the girls who write, i wish this mindset could exist in the minds of handsome fellows, don't you? ;)

"Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. 

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes."

by, Rosemarie Urquico

a bit of humor


After a day at the races in England, a friend told Mark Twain, “I wish you’d buy me a ticket back to London. I’m broke.”
Twain told him he couldn’t afford two tickets but proposed that his friend sneak aboard the train and hide under Twain’s seat. Then he bought two tickets anyway.
When the train had got under way, the inspector appeared to collect Twain’s ticket. When Twain gave him two, he looked about the compartment and said, “Where’s the other one?”
Twain pointed under his seat, smiled, and said, “My friend is a little eccentric.”

i enjoy short stories like this.
i'm trying my best to write more.
i heard from someone, and i can't remember who,
that, as a writer, one should write a short story each day...
just to stay healthy, happy, or even sane, i suppose.

Saturday, June 1, 2013


this time {EXACTLY} last year,
i opened my graduation ceremony with the pledge of allegiance,
gave a speech to my class,
walked across the stage,
and graduated.

never in a million years did i expect this past year at all.
and as i lay here and think back on the past year,
i feel a simple sense of peace and a satisfied feeling of blessings.

i love that i will forever be a mustang.
class of 2012, "you know you want to be one two" ;)

sincerely, the girl who used to be president!

here are two posts from pre and post june 1st of last year.
i found it funny that one of those posts happened to be
titled the same as this one...i'm all about habit!

post ONE
post TWO


i spent my morning at the flee market,

and as my mom and i were walking through the aisles of vendors,
and as i talked on and on about something,
mom suddenly laughed and said "that looks like something you'd decorate your child's room with."

i quickly glanced over to see a vendor spot filled with such whimsical and quirky designs.
i was drawn to the art, while mom was drawn to the handmade characters.
everything was colorful, and some of it was downright hilarious and totally not appropriate for a nursery. though i'd fill my nursery with the characters and art pieces any day.

being the broke college student that i am, i'll have to wait a bit to purchase
pieces off of etsy, but mom kindly picked a "monster" character out for me
and purchased it for my dorm.

it's weird and adorable,
and i don't care if i go back to college with
a stuffed doll that looks like it walked right out of a tim burton film.
and, yes, i will save it for a child of mine one day ;)

you can find their adorable site HERE
below are my favorites!