I'm beginning to think that perhaps I'm expecting more from Romania
than I initially thought.
I began to pack yesterday, and quickly did I realize
that little is required of me materially. All along I've known that my heart
must be ready, too. So, last week I met with a woman from my church whom I've gotten
to know better recently. She kindly invited me over to her home to talk and pray with me.
I went into the visit not really expecting to say some of the things I ended up confessing.
And I realized that my heart does need more preparation for Romania than any vacation would ever need.
For nearly the past week, I've been doing my best to pack up within my heart and
take all that I've learned overseas with me. Now it's time for the physical packing. I
told my mom that I always expected my first European endeavor to be one that consisted of
lots of fashion statements. Never did I think I'd be packing so humbly and minimally. But let me tell
you, packing for Romania is turning out to be more of a breeze than I expected it to be. Other than collecting a few more items, I mainly need to continue to prepare myself spiritually and emotionally (two aspects of myself that I don't do well with). I say that I'm beginning to expect more from Romania because it's true. I used to view this trip as something that needed to be taken seriously, and I know that it does indeed need to be taken seriously and with respect, but I want this trip to be a time for me to enjoy myself. I want to just live in the moment of three weeks and explore who I am as a person overseas.
I'm beginning to think that perhaps I'm looking for a piece of myself over there...not in any major way. I simply believe that with any God-given opportunity is a gift of some sort - or a piece to the puzzle - that allows us to find ourselves and grow. I desire to grow more. I'm learning that God has secrets that await us in places we never comprehend. And as long as we follow Him, He will reveal those secrets eagerly.
Madison over here has been eagerly and impatiently awaiting the lessons and secrets of Romania. Now, if only I could calm these nerves and begin to sleep through the night!