Sunday, October 13, 2013

t h r e e

it was three months ago this weekend that he walked into my life -
it was unnerving, the entire thing.

i had always heard that it happened in the least likely of places and when you
were least expecting it.
so i stopped looking, i suppose, and i found it.
i woke up one morning and didn't know that he
was waiting there for me - a collision of lives was about to ensue and i had
no premonitions whatsoever.

it was three weeks ago on berkeley's campus,
in between a rain storm and some cold winds,
that he stood behind me and told me how he felt -
told me what we should be.

it was a lucky day because of the rain.
at least that's what i believe.

it was today at the airport.
we were both a bit flustered by the traffic and directions.
it was right before the security check in when he kissed me goodbye sweetly
one, two, however many times.

our words were mixed with i'll see you soon and two weeks then and i'll miss you so much.
it was in the crevices of the past three months - most especially, the past three weeks.

it was between the curve of his neck where i hide my face,
and the lower part of my back where he rests his hands to support me as i stand on my toes.

it was in the momentum of life and emotions,
but it was also in the silences that we find ourselves comfortable in.

it was in his hands as he held mine,
and in the fear of what comes next.

it was there - in the middle of a very public place -
when we least expected it: three words.
simple words - words that should be said with so much heaviness and thought
but often get spoken into the wind where they are thrust into forgetfulness or misconceptions.

but those three words were there:
in the moment when i wasn't quite sure what i heard and i wasn't quite sure what i said.

and we turned to walk our own ways
as the three words lingered in the air and welled up in my eyes.
i nearly ran into a woman as my world filled with noise and my ears drowned it out.
we had said them without looking back - without finishing our sentences.

but as i stood there waiting to cross the trafficked road - tears filling my eyes and the eyes of strangers on me - that i knew what had been said.

that i knew that we had jumped into oblivion.
that three is sure as hell a lucky number.

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