Tuesday, January 28, 2014

on long distance.

yesterday marked six months since i met boyfriend.
today marks six months since he asked me for my phone number.
we have literally talked every day for six months.

this morning i had a conversation with a woman.
we were talking all about relationships -- mostly about
the pros and cons of them at this age.

she asked about mine and boyfriend's relationship.
how it works.
why it works.
how it all happened.

and towards the end of the conversation i found myself claiming this:

i wouldn't do the relationship any other way -- at least not at this time in our lives.

the words burned my mouth as i heard them dripping with honesty,
though i could distinctly mark the contradiction that they have in comparison
to the hundreds of texts i have sent to him saying that i just want him here, now,
for good, so that we can be "normal."

but i meant that closing statement, nonetheless.
although i want him. now. always. consistently.

i'm learning that the distance allows us to grow in a healthy way.
the trust/communication/openness/effort is amplified into great amounts.
but everything else can grow at a healthy pace -- there's patience, and anticipation, appreciation, support, love --
all of this can grow as it needs to.

and the both of us can focus on where we are, on who's around us.

so that's good for now.
healthy for now.

six months ago i would have laughed at the idea of having a long distance relationship.
i hadn't ever entertained the idea as a reality.
but it was this time six months ago that i must have wondered about such a thing -- somewhere along the lines
of him asking for my number over facebook and my girlish nervousness over a guy actually wanting to talk to me -- it had been a rough year and a half, remember?

never in a million years would i have suspected, then and there, that the guy from berkeley would still be wishing me good night six months later.

never would i have imagined that we would fall in love.

i couldn't tell you how the whole love thing happened.
it just did.

i kind of knew one day -- and i couldn't quite spit it out,
but my uncensored mouth did eventually -- out from behind my lips and right into his eager ear.

so, to all who say that distance is a deciding factor,
i say that it's not.

or, rather, that it doesn't have to be.
falling in love doesn't calculate miles -- it takes time and respect and friendship.

consider the distance and then throw the thought away.
it doesn't matter how far it takes to reach someone,
just focus on your destination.

i swear i am home each time i find myself looking for his face.

distance is a silly, scary thing.
but it isn't an ultimatum if you don't want it to be.

it's been one hell of a six month ordeal, but life just wouldn't be the same
without him and i can't think of what things would have looked like if he
hadn't interrupted my life.

yes, interrupt ;)

because i had a plan and he wasn't in it,
but now he is and i love him for it.

i'm crazy about him for it.

i have seen him -- hmmm...23 times, perhaps? give or take a day.

and he's my best friend.

there are all of the laughs, and tears, and thank you's, and i love you's, and in-between-words and kisses that there needs to be to make two happy people.

and there are a million and one adventures that i can't wait to share with him.

{seattle or portland, anyone?}

here's to another six months and some.


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