Sunday, December 7, 2014

confessions & reflections continued

currently: in disbelief at how quickly life goes.

confession: boyfriend and i talk about marriage. not necessarily all about us and marriage, sometimes                    we talk about marriage in general.

how weird is that?
being at the age when you can talk about marriage without it
being too unrealistic.

i dream of whites and grey and burgundy for colors --
i dream of uncut stems that collect into bouquets.
i dream of flower crowns and a vintage veil.

i dream of bow-ties and suspenders,
and mismatched white bridesmaid dresses.

i dream of san francisco --
a little church for ceremony,
and a kaleidoscope of woodsy and urban after shots
that keep the memory forever.

i dream of whimsy photos
and candid moments of a silly party.

i dream of greenery and candles galore --
eclectically placed on hard wood tables made for warm, belly-filling food.
i dream of my husband and i being introduced as man and wife to the sound of
kanye and jay z's "clique."

i dream of fizzy champagne,
and clutters of glass
and a playlist that feels endless.

i dream of hand clapping and hand holding --
high fiving, and dessert eating.

i dream of love and intimacy of a small party crammed into
a beautiful room at the end of a fall's day.
i dream of covenant to follow once the fun has settled --
once the fun of a life-lived-forever finally begins.

i dream because i can, and because i have been for years.

berkeley boy is so much different from the man i had envisioned -- the man
with a face that i couldn't yet decipher.

yet i keep saying, "i think i  can...i think i can..."

and the crazy thing?

he thinks he can, too.

confession: i don't know what the hell i'm doing with my life. but, by the grace of god, i've gotten this                    far only by him. and the story is just getting good.

here's to dreams of marriage -- and my ever angst-y dreams about tattoos, vinyl, used boots, the perfect tea, books, beards, subarus, road trips in subarus, wood floors, living in san francisco, traveling the world and writing forever.


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