Sunday, April 30, 2017

Cures for Aloneness

Let's first be clear, aloneness and loneliness can correlate. However, they both have different meanings, and in this case I am solely talking in terms of aloneness. 

- A cup of coffee. Not the affordable cup-of-the-day coffee, but the one on the menu that you're really craving.

- A movie that'll make you laugh so loudly the neighbors will hear you (I prefer Everybody Wants Some!!)

- Organization -- clean your room, sweep your floors, fold your clothes, bleach the bathtub. If you're going to be spending ample time alone, some of that time will be at home...might as well make home be comfortably clean.

- Have a playlist that makes you feel all the good feels. I can usually tell that outcome of my mood for a day before seven am depending on how much I've danced around in my room.

- Know your demons and triggers. And avoid them 99% of the time (that 1% is healthy, it keeps you from denial)

- A view of the ocean. Maybe not every weekend. But sometimes. 

- Breathing in and out intentionally. Stop and note the breaths you're taking. Slow down, inhale and exhale deeply. It'll clear your head a bit.

- Read a book. And really read the book. Leave the phone on the other side of the room. Turn it off. 

- Turn off the phone for other reasons. Phones have a way of allowing social media's connections to make aloneness feel like loneliness. 

- Plants. Fill a space with hints of life other than your own.

- Ask the lady or the man at the coffee shop if you can pet their dog. And then relish in how wonderful it feels to be greeted by a sweet ball of fluff and personality. The dog will love it, you will love it, and most people tend to appreciate anyone willing to dote on their dog. 

- Run. Not away, not toward anything, but for your own sake. To clear your mind, to make yourself strong, to see your home from a different perspective. 

- Cultivate a community. One that wants to see you grow. And when you realize that this sort of cultivation is flawed and takes patience, remember that the best things in life require time. 

- Believe in something bigger than yourself. 

- Think the crazy thought, and dream the crazy dream. Doesn't matter what it is. 

- Reject every last negative word you want to believe about yourself. Do not endorse the labels others want to place on you if they hinder you. 

- Learn to sing loudly, rather than well.

- Smile. Ask people how they are without expecting to be asked the same in return. 

- Wear the dress on Saturday. Or stay in the pajamas. And don't apologize. 

- Learn to cook/bake something you're not only proud of, but something that tastes good and is good for you.

- Be honest. With yourself, with others.

- Learn the art of risk taking. Realize that it comes with all of the potential to hurt you, but that the end result will be worth it either way.

- Know your values. More importantly, know why they are your values.

- Strive for a balance of spontaneity and routine. You're never going to find the balance, but the pursuit will teach you things, and will lead to good.  

- Find your voice just as much as finding the ability to listen. 

- Take a million leaps of faith, or be sure to take at least one.

- Remember that it is okay to not be the person other people were expecting. If you're not what they were expecting, then they're not who you need.

- Find a passion and let it fill you.

- Seek and do. 

- Laugh at yourself. And then do it again.

- Know the difference between feeling and wallowing.

- Know that a season of aloneness is a gift that will bless seasons of noise, and relationships, and fullness. 

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